I am feeling very turtley lately. I follow other authors and belong to various author groups on various web sites and social media platforms. I have been lurking in their midst for quite some time, absorbing as much as I can, learning and growing with them, or at least near them, I suppose. For a couple years, everything was hypothetical, and I could only imagine how things would go for me. That was, until I published my own novel last month.
Now, I have my own charts and numbers and such. It is no longer hypothetical. Of course, my first few sales were friends and family, but after the first couple days, sales were coming in from whomever and who-knows-where. I’m still fresh enough to the author game that I was thrilled to see that people who had no obligation to buy my book were buying it! I even got a couple reviews! Magical!
I still marvel at the fact that there are people out there who are willing to pay to read something I wrote. The words on the page were merely an idea, and those ideas grew and grew until it became a book, a book that I thought would be one book and then grew to a series in my mind! It still amazes me. When I think of it that way, I feel on top of the world.
You may be wondering why on earth I mentioned the other authors and author groups. Well, here’s why. Those wonderful people who are kind enough to share their thoughts, insights, successes, failures, etc… There are quite a few hares in there!
I in no way mean to imply that they are “hares” in the sense that I will eventually defeat them (Mwahahaha-no). I mean that there are some amazing people out there who broke the mold and had amazing success right out of the gate, while I am still turtling way behind them.
It is hard not to feel jealous. I find myself wondering what I did wrong, what I should have done, if I should shell out money for this or that or the other. For better or worse, I just don’t want to do more than what I’m doing now. For my circumstances, I feel like I am actually doing pretty darn well!
I work two jobs, I have three kids, those kids have activities, my husband has a business and is a full-time student. We have a LOT going on. And yet, I have managed to finish one book, I’m almost done with the second, and I have a good start on the third. That’s not even including the fifteen blurbs and short drafts I have for other books that pop into my mind while I am trying to work on one of the other ones.
I may not be a hare. It may take me FOREVER and a day to reach that finish line. (I’m not even sure what the finish line is for me…) But, I stood by for years watching people on the course (yeah, I’m hanging onto this metaphor for dear life), wishing I could be out there with them, telling myself I couldn’t (due to the aforementioned plate full of responsibilities), until one day I decided to stop letting myself stop myself and just DO it.
So, whoever is reading this out there in cyberland, I am writing to tell you that I am still here (I was really tempted to say “still hare,” but that would be confusing because I just explained how un-hare-like I am.) I work on my craft one way or another every, single day, and I have no intention of stopping. It may take me ten years and twenty books to reach the level of success that others are able to accomplish with one book, but that’s fine. I have at least that many ideas rolling around my head right now. So, keep watching (please), folks. It’s a-comin’. It may be at a turtle’s pace, but it’s coming!
Dawn Ludlow 