I had so much work to do this week, I haven’t been able to get any reading done. I had over 90 assignments that I was going to try to get graded today… but then there was a pretty nasty wind storm which knocked out my power for eight hours (no internet, and I live in a place with lousy data service as well), so I read a book instead! (And played with my kids and dealt with this):
I downloaded When We Believed in Mermaids by Barbara O’Neal from Kindle Unlimited. The cover really drew my eye. First of all, I’m a sucker for purple, also MERMAIDS!
I quickly ascertained that this wasn’t any fairy tale or childish book of any kind. The story was painful and complex. Though I haven’t personally lived through the exact traumas the characters did, I found it extremely relatable to my own traumas. I particularly appreciated how the author, over the course of the story, was able to slowly show the reader that people can develop flaws from traumatic experience. People don’t necessarily make poor choices merely because they want to make poor choices. We are a combination of the things that happen to us and our reactions to them. We don’t all respond well.
A couple messages that really resonated with me were, it is possible to miss someone, love someone, and also be angry with them, resent them, and not be able to completely forgive them (right away, anyway). This is something that can be difficult to put into words, but I felt the author did well showing how this can manifest for different characters. It made me think about elements from my childhood where one of my siblings seemed fine at the time while others spiraled and how the trauma has revealed itself in different ways at different times. (Some people, I’m still kind of waiting for an eruption, but maybe they are just better-adjusted than I am.)
Another aspect that really got to me was how complex love can be. I found it fascinating how each character showed and felt love differently. I spent quite a bit of time in therapy trying to understand why certain people in my life don’t love me (or demonstrate their love) how I wish they would. PTSD is a real thing, folks, and people can get it from all sorts of things, and sometimes it makes it so people don’t have the capacity to care for others, even if they have the desire.
I loved the evolution of characters, and I loved that even though there are some pretty dark elements in this book, I still ended up with a hopeful, warm and fuzzy feeling that I love to have at the end of a book. Yes, I do want a happy ending ALL THE TIME. You do you, but that’s basically a requirement for me. You can rip my heart out a few times throughout the book, but you better give me some fuzzies by the end.
This book teaches a bit about the importance of self-advocating, protecting those who need it, and accepting the flaws of others even if you don’t understand them. Warning: There is a fair amount of steaminess involved (if you know what I mean ;), so be prepared for that.) I’m going to give this 4.6 out of 5 stars. I also cried approximately three times, if that helps.
Dawn Ludlow 